She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
