Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
