im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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