everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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