so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
