For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
