margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
