I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i now understand why vodka
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
