butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
