i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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