perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
