I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
