Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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