the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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