I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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