sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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