this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
