If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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