Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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