Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We had to coat check the pizza.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
