He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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