bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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