how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
