it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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