And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize