The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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