I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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