I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize