No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize