It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
