remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
