The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
