it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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