If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
