My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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