do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
