the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
