i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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