in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
