No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
