i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
