i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
