We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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