remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
