you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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