Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
