Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
