i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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