Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize