doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
