That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
