you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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