: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
