Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
