i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
