yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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