Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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