I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
A+ Viking dick
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
