I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
