I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
