8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
