Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
