OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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