i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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