the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Acid is not a monday night drug
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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